Impact Over Intent

I think that almost all parents do truly love their kids unconditionally. However, our actions towards our children don’t always communicate the unconditionality of our love.

If we want to be a secure base for our children, if we want them to know they can always count on us, it isn’t enough to just love our children. What we need to focus on is that our children FEEL loved by us.

This often means taking a step back and reflecting on how we show up and interact with our children in both the fun, joyous moments as well as the harder ones. Ask yourself, “Are my words, body language, tone, facial expressions, and actions communicating love, compassion, kindness, connection, etc?” (Yes, even during the times you have to set and hold a boundary). Try to tune in to your child during these moments to see if they are receiving the message you are trying to give.

While we are able to know that our intentions are good and come from a place of deep love for our children, our children will only be able to find comfort and safety in our love if we focus on making sure we are giving it to them in a way that they can feel it.