Instead of “Don’t Be Sad”

Validating our kiddos emotions can be really hard. They often have very big feelings over things that to us feel very insignificant.
It might seem silly to us that they are so sad that the red cup is in the dishwasher or that they have to hold your hand to cross the street.

When we say things lovingly like "don't be sad," our intentions are in the right place, but what our children are learning is that they can't trust their emotions, and they can't trust their body's cues.

Instead, try these 3 steps to help your child know that they are understood.

1. Name the emotion your child is feeling: Name it to tame it. When we put words to feelings, they become a whole lot less overwhelming.
2. Empathize: Shared humanity is just as grounding for our children as it is for us.
3. *Gently offer some coaching on how to move through the emotion: The goal here isn't to solve your child's problem immediately, but to offer guidance.

*Remember that sometimes kids just need us there to be the safe place where they can learn to sit in their big emotions. Sometimes they don't need our advice.