Is “Fine” Really the Goal?

So often we hear people say something happened to them as a child and they “turned out fine.” But I think it is important to point out that we all have different ideas of what “fine” means, and also is “fine” really your goal?

When you choose to use a responsive or gentle parenting approach, you have the opportunity to dive into and understand your own triggers. You start to see your child as deserving of love and respect simply for the fact that they are human, even (or especially) when they are having a hard time.

When you respond with gentleness instead of harshness, with connection instead of disconnection, and acknowledge ruptures and make repairs, you are not only treating your child with the respect they deserve, but you are validating and healing the parts of you that have gone unhealed. Your child is learning that they can rely on others when they are having a hard time, that their feelings aren’t something to be feared or overwhelmed by, that life is about ups and downs, and relationships are imperfect and beautiful.

It’s not about getting it perfect all the time. Or using the right scripts. Or making sure your child is happy. It’s about showing up, responding instead of reacting, validating their loved experiences, and remembering to always be bigger, stronger, wiser, AND kind.