Myth Busting: Praise

Myth: Saying good-job and praising my child will help build their self-esteem

Fact: Praise creates a conditional acceptance. It offers a judgement on your child’s behavior, performance, or who they are. While it can give them a short boost of feeling good, it can create a vicious cycle where your child feels they are in constant pursuit of the next positive judgement, a feeling that they need to hustle for your love and acceptance.

Instead, you can foster your child’s self-esteem through responsive caregiving and secure attachment. When your child is given the message that you love them, no matter what, they will develop a sense of worthiness. They will know, without a doubt, that they are deserving of love and belonging unconditionally, which is a much more enduring sense of self-esteem than the conditionality of praise could ever create.