Contagious Feels and Caterpillars

Okay, let’s go way back. As a kid, I was SO into catching creepy crawlies, lizard, minnows, frogs, crawdads, bugs, etc. But as an adult, I’ve developed quite the fear of all of these things!

While visiting my sister in Portland, it was apparently “wooly bear season” because there were hundreds of wooly bear caterpillars crawling all over her backyard. E showed an interest in them and I really wanted her to be able to experience them, despite my fears. So one evening, we went out and started looking for them. There we SO MANY! I was helping E pick them up, hold them, pet them gently, and hand them to my husband who was collecting them in his hand. As we were doing this, E kept doing this little dysregulated nervous cackle that truly mirrored exactly how I was feeling. I tried so hard to remain calm, but my nervous energy was clearly palpable.

Overall, the experience was positive. I made strides in overcoming my fears, E had the very fantastic experience of handing the furry little creatures gently (no small feat for a 1.5 yo).

Upon reflection, it became so obvious to me that my nervous energy rubbed off on my daughter. Truly the perfect example of how the nervous systems dysregulation is contagious. Her reactions were mirroring exactly how I felt, even if it wasn’t how I was behaving.

So what would I do differently next time? I wish I would have been open about naming my feeling sinstead of pretending to be calm. I could have said “I’m feeling nervous, but I know that these caterpillars won’t hurt me. I’m going to try to pick them up and pet them with you.” Naming my emotions and being upfront about it would have brought all of that subconscious energy to the conscious and helped her organize the way that I (and consequently here) was feeling. She might have still taken on that same energy, but it would have made it more understandable for her.