Letting Go of Control

Being in control is different than controlling. Your children, and especially your toddlers, need you to be in control, but not controlling.

Being controlling could look like:
-Nit-picking how your child does things
-Saying no to most of your child’s ideas and requests
-Not allowing your child to express opinions or have autonomy over matters pertaining to them
-Making your child always comply with when and how you want them to do things

Being in control is:
-Allowing your child to make age appropriate decisions
-Setting boundaries when needed
-Being a safe place for your child to express emotions and explore the world from
-Staying calm and regulated even when your kid isn’t

If you find that you are in constant conflict and power struggles with your child, it might be worth looking at how often you are saying “no” to them or their ideas.

When “no” becomes your default, your child is learning that they have no control over their life and feel the need to push even harder to gain back some control.

Next time you are about to say no to your kid, ask yourself, “What part of this can I say yes to?” The more control you can give to your child, the less adversarial they are likely to be.